


Undone

by Alexis_C



Series: The Haunting [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Canonical Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:13:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_C/pseuds/Alexis_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ace thinks about Zoro and Sanji and how they just might be right for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undone

**Author's Note:**

> As always, spoilers for Chapter 574. Just wanted to do a short introspective piece on Ace since most of this series has been told from the POV of other characters.

Each time Ace holds Sanji, he reminds himself that it might be the last, so he hugs him so tightly that Sanji has to complain about the heat before Ace is willing to release him.

Ace never takes a single day he spends in Sanji’s company for granted. He knows that each moment is a gift, each day a treasure.

They may have years together yet, but Ace could also disappear in an instant, and Sanji is after all a pirate in The New World. Ace knows well how dangerous a life that can be, and once death knocks, there’s no guarantee that if Sanji dies, they’ll both end up together. Ace thinks that Sanji is a better man than he is and there’s probably a better place waiting for the cook than the deck of his younger brother’s ship. Since he’s died, he’s never seen another spirit as whole as he is, so he has no reason to believe that Sanji will linger. Ace is after all, not entirely sure what keeps him here in mortal realms, although he has reason to believe it was the desire to see Luffy be crowned King of the Pirates. And perhaps it started off like that, but Ace is becoming more and more convinced that he remains here because of each passing second that he spends with Sanji.

Ace knows that he is going to hell one day. He doesn’t wonder what it’s like, doesn’t need to.

Ace already knows that hell is a place without Sanji.

And he’d been heading straight for it, from the moment that Sanji had laid his eyes on him, and brought him back to the world of the living.

Ace doesn’t exist without Sanji. He didn’t at least until Sanji first saw him. He knows Sanji doesn’t believe him when he says that Sanji saved him, but Ace knows better and he’s sure he would still be drifting about in darkness without a sense of self if not for Sanji, who paved the way to consciousness.

Ace exists for Sanji.

Sanji’s a cook, and so taming fire, and making it do his bidding is part of his profession. Ace thinks it’s symbolic of why they are so drawn to each other, but no cook has ever been able to say that they have never been burnt and Sanji’s had more than his fair share of burns recently.

Ace was, _is_ fire incarnate. He turns everything around him to dust and ashes and sooner or later, he’ll consume Sanji, hollow him from inside out with that slow burn until there’s nothing left. Sanji won’t realise it, as bit by bit, Ace will rob him of his future, and his life with another who can truly make him happy.

Sanji's gorgeous and Ace is well aware that Sanji will not lack admirers or suitors. Take for example, Zoro. Zoro loves Sanji, even though he might not know it yet and Ace cannot count the number of times he has observed Zoro watching Sanji with that look on his face like Sanji is his universe, although he would deny it to the death if asked. But it’s becoming impossible for Zoro to hide it as his feelings grow deeper with each day, and Sanji is painfully aware of it too. Ace recognises that look on Zoro’s face, because it mirrors his own feelings for Sanji, and he’s seen it in Sanji’s face too when Sanji looks at Ace, and Ace is so grateful for it, so absurdly pitifully grateful for the fleeting happiness he can grasp whenever they are together. And Ace is terrified too, of never seeing that look again, if he fades away into the shadows and Sanji can no longer hear or see him. When that day comes, Ace knows he will finally be undone.

Ace thinks a lot about Zoro and Sanji and how right they are for each other. There is no question that there is a mutual attraction; they are friends, they are companions, they are rivals, they are alive and they push each other to be better men. Zoro would die for Sanji in a heartbeat and so would Sanji. Ace knows that Zoro is a good man, and Zoro now keeps his respectful distance from Sanji, because he knows Sanji has given his heart to another. But if Zoro had acted first and confessed his love before Ace came along, Ace suspects that things would have played out a little differently and Ace would still be lost in the fog that Sanji pulled him out from.

Ace likes Zoro. He is a simple and uncomplicated man who lives his convictions, a man who can help both his brother and Sanji achieve their dreams. Zoro represents hope and a chance for Sanji to have his happily ever after. And Sanji deserves his happily ever after. Zoro is life and a path to a brighter future. Once not too long ago, Ace was the very embodiment of light and life too, but that time has passed. Ace is now death, and darkness and despair and he will bring Sanji down with him if they stay together.

Ace knows that he can entrust both Sanji and his little brother in Zoro’s hands and Zoro will not let either of them down. Ace wants to dislike Zoro, for the threat to Sanji’s affections that he represents, but he can’t and instead, he finds himself kissing Zoro instead to help him get back to his body, to taste his lips and see why Sanji’s attracted too, to this man. And Ace is selfish and life is addictive, and he wants to hold Sanji in his arms forever without hurting him and so it takes all of Ace's self control to relinquish Zoro’s body, when that dark voice in his head is saying the opposite. Zoro thinks that Ace did him a favour, but Ace knows that he was the one using Zoro, and Zoro wouldn’t be so quick to thank him if he’d known how close he was to being imprisoned in his own body for the rest of his life by Ace.

In the darkness, a soft murmur reaches his ears, as the arms of his lover enfold him.

“What’s on your mind?” Sanji whispers, arms wrapped deceptively loosely around him, a trap that Ace will never escape from.

“You,” Ace replies simply, as he brings Sanji's hand to his lips and kisses it softly.

Ace knows that he should end things with Sanji. Cut the cord and set the love of his life free because Sanji's too loyal to leave. If Ace were a better man, he would already have done it. And Ace has tried, but Sanji is stubborn and fighting for them, even if Ace won’t. And in the end, it’s Sanji who wins, because Ace isn’t able to face the thought of his dreary existence without Sanji yet, and so he keeps making excuses, and putting the inevitable off.

Sometimes Ace thinks that it would have been better if Sanji had never seen him, better if Sanji had gone his whole life without being aware of Ace's presence. But that deep selfish part of him whispers that he is a hypocrite and deep down inside, he wants to drag Sanji down into purgatory with him and never let go.

And perhaps Ace never will.

Ace has never loved anyone quite the way he does Sanji. And Ace knows a thing or two about love; the one that is self-sacrificing, that involves setting someone free, and protecting them no matter the personal cost. This love that Ace has for Sanji is different. It is darker and more possessive and Ace knows that it is a selfish love, one that keeps Sanji shackled to a dead man. And maybe it is because Ace has already given everything he has for love once that he just wants this one thing for himself now. This one thing that he should not, and cannot have.


End file.
